yan00b @ 1:13am:

I'm really just...all around not happy with how things have transpired with this situation. I mean I don't even know if I can call it a transpiration, since things were just one way and then they weren't. There was no transition to speak of. Not that I could see anyway. I just want to know how it is acceptable, after this many years, after knowing absolutely everything there was to know, being the ONLY person I could say that about, she walked away without a word. I think it's a fucking cowardly thing to do. She eliminated me from everything except the one place she knew would notify me of the removal (lj) and even in that case, she doesn't use it anymore so it doesn't matter. Genuinely, I can deal with her not wanting to talk to me anymore. If that's really what she wants, that's fine. But I think after this long, I'm at least deserving of a fucking goodbye. No, nothing. I realise I made mistakes. I understand that our relationship was far from perfect, but we'd gotten past that, started to settle into a friendship again. She is the ONLY person I have ever even allowed myself to think of in a permanent sense. Forever with her didn't scare me, it seemed possible, though we knew it would take a lot of work. And that for me is fucking HUGE.
Maybe I would have an easier time with this if I bought that it was entirely her doing. But I don't. It's a manipulation, I would bet my life on it. Where the manipulation is coming from (new gf, parents, Nicole, whatever), is irrelevant. All of them can fucking suck it. She has a part of me I won't ever get back, and now she's run off and left me here without warning. How lovely of her.